


A Flickering Light

by like_water



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drinking, Drunkenness, Fluff, M/M, Revelations, hamid goes on an emotional journey, zolf sleeps through 80 per cent of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26956897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/like_water/pseuds/like_water
Summary: Hamid has never been afraid to love.
Relationships: Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan/Zolf Smith
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	A Flickering Light

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in some very nebulous moment outside of the canon timeline; I'm at like, ep. 75, and I've no idea whether or not Zolf is ever going to reunite with the team, but this takes place much later, after (and this might be the canon divergence) he has rejoined them.

They’re all in one piece, in the end. This mission wasn’t even one of their most difficult - the objective was met, nobody died or got seriously injured, they got handsomely rewarded for their hard work; overall, they count it as a success. The mission dragged on for longer than seemed reasonable, though, with leads disappearing or reaching dead ends, new ones popping up and messing up their plans, and other sorts of complications making their work more time-consuming and difficult than it should have been. They’re all exhausted. So, after dealing with all the formalities, they take what they feel is a well-deserved break and celebrate.

It’s almost morning when - long after the others have called it a night - Zolf, Hamid, and Sasha emerge from the tavern, warmed and relaxed after a night of partying, the variety of liquors they’ve consumed running through their veins. None of them are excessively drunk, but none are entirely sober, either - even Sasha, ever so vigilant and careful not to let her guard down, seems to have had, perhaps, one round too many and is swaying slightly on her feet.

Still, her balance seems better than Hamid’s, who holds on to the railing as he walks down the steps outside the tavern’s front door, and much better than Zolf’s, who’s standing unsteadily in the doorway, keeping himself upright with a hand on the doorframe. He’s looking down with a deep frown, clearly reluctant to face the challenge of walking down stairs on prosthetic legs and many rounds of the tavern keeper’s excellent strawberry liqueur in his blood.

Hamid tries to help him, grabbing one of his arms and wrapping it around his shoulders to help him feel more steady - but all he does is making himself unsteady, too, his smaller frame hardly a match for Zolf’s sturdy, dwarven form. He calls Sasha, who comes back and together they get Zolf down the stairs and walk towards the carriage waiting for them at the end of the drive.

They manage, with some more combined effort and little cooperation from Zolf, to get him into the vehicle. Sasha steps outside and slams the door close, Hamid gives a signal to the driver, and they start rolling slowly down the misty lane. Hamid watches Sasha for the short moment it takes her to disappear back into the fog and shadows, and then he sighs and leans back against the headrest. He glances at Zolf, but the dwarf seems to be already asleep.

He’s tired. He has drunk less than Zolf - and he hasn’t had anything as strong as him - but he’s never been able to handle his alcohol, and he can feel the wine buzzing in his veins. It’s making him feel loose and heavy, the rhythmic rocking of the carriage slowly lulling him to sleep. He tries to fight it, but his eyelids won't stop drooping and it becomes increasingly difficult to keep his eyes open. A nap won’t hurt anyone, he thinks; he scoots closer to Zolf and rests his head on the dwarf’s shoulder - he looks more comfortable than the hard headrest - and within seconds he’s asleep.

When he wakes up an indeterminable amount of time later, it’s still dark. The inside of the carriage is barely visible in the sparse moonlight falling in through the windows. His head is still resting on Zolf’s shoulder, his side pressed against his friend’s solid form. Zolf’s breathing evenly, his chest rising and falling with each breath; Hamid feels the warmth of his thigh, pressed against his own.

“Unf,” says Zolf in his sleep and shifts a little, rolling his head to the side and resting it on top of Hamid’s. He sighs contentedly and a moment later, the even breathing resumes, puffs of air lightly caressing Hamid's hair, Zolf's cheek warm against his head. An involuntary smile pulls at Hamid’s lips and something in his chest flutters. He feels safe, he realizes, and calm - safer and calmer than he has in weeks. He realizes he’s always felt safe around Zolf, and so often, it was the dwarf who he went to for comfort. He thinks of how it made him feel when Zolf left - how much it hurt to let him go - and how it made him feel to see him again. Giddy with joy. Choked up with tears he was trying to hold back. Disbelieving. Relieved. Yearning.

He opens his eyes at that last thought, and stares into the darkness.

Yearning. A desire to have something that cannot be obtained easily. A feeling of intense longing, especially for something that was lost.

Hamid had lost touch with friends before. But he never cried upon seeing them again, he never spent the rest of the day being completely useless, spilling drinks, dropping things, and walking into people and objects, his mind running in circles, fixated on one thing and one thing only; he never stayed awake all night, vibrating with emotions, with yearning, that was making him want to get up, find Zolf, right then, in the middle of the night, and--

 _Oh_ , he thinks as the pieces of the mosaic fall into place in his mind, _oh gods. I’m in love with him._

It doesn’t shock him. It doesn’t make him anxious. His heart is pounding in his chest, but it’s not out of fear. Hamid Saleh Haroun Al Tahan has never been afraid to love. The realization blooms warmly in his chest, spreading like honey inside him and washing over him in gentle waves.

He knows that the journey won’t last forever. He knows that they’ll have to get out of the carriage and, sooner or later, face some new adventures, and who knows what’s going to happen to them?

But now they’re here. Zolf’s shoulder is firm and broad under Hamid’s cheek, rising and falling softly as he breathes. Hamid basks in the moment. He knows Zolf might never return his feelings, but that’s ok, Hamid thinks, that’s alright. Even if he can never have Zolf as anything else than a friend, he will always have this sweet, bright feeling, this flickering light that will stay with him and fuel him in whatever storms life throws at him.

The carriage stops suddenly and Zolf wakes up. He blinks, disoriented, and looks around. Hamid watches him, still smiling.

“Good morning,” he says when Zolf raises his eyebrows at him questioningly, “we’re here.”


End file.
